yeah fill in the rest

I’m old. 4 years. About 17-18% of life. Hard to believe such a meaningless percentage had such an impact on my life. I was told “oh it’ll just be like graduating high school”. Well it’s not. Everyday I miss everything, I’m told it’s part of growing up, it probably is, but that doesn’t stop it from sucking. Who ever (or is it whomever?) said that selflessness is a desired trait has never done a selfless act in their life. “Look to the future” they say, “focusing on the past does nothing”. The future holds uncertainty. Humans fear the uncertain, they find comfort in the familiar. Why would I focus on that? But oh well, “life goes on”. I don’t regret my choice. New city, new people, but I’ll never forget the ones I left behind. People tell me that I can be whoever (again, or is it whomever?) I want. NOPE. Can’t do that, sorry. I’ll be Kaamil. This still feels temporary. I feel like I’m living in a hotel. It’s probably that pool. But whatever. Also, it’s strange that I now realize what I could have had. And I’m so sorry, I was foolish. It took an 1100 mile move and a long time for me to realize. I would have stayed. Hearing that voice on the phone. Your laughter. Anyways, this may not make sense to the reader but I could care less. It’s getting late.